10 Principles for Creating a Winning Relationship - Alon Ullman
Everyone wants a ‘Winning Relationship’, a satisfying partnership which deepens and grows with time. Unfortunately, not everyone will get to experience this, but it is possible. What is the difference between those ‘eternal partnerships’ and other types of relationships? And how can such a partnership be fostered and maintained?
Your relationship with your partner is your most important asset, apart from the relationship with yourself. A good partnership can bring serenity and compensate for other more challenging aspects of life. It can act as an anchor when the outside world is turbulent. No one gets married expecting to get divorced. Couples marry out of love and hope that they have found the partner they will be with forever. Whilst statistics show otherwise, they are not set-in stone. Anything we nurture grows, whilst what we neglect, will wither.
Here are 10 principles that worked well for me and for hundreds of people who attended The Winners Code workshops.
10 principles for a successful and lasting relationship:
1. E.B.A (Emotional Bank Account): Make deposits. An intimate relationship, like
any other, can be compared to a bank account. You can't just make withdraws all the time, you have to make deposits (and not create a negative balance...) Be
attentive to your partner, tell them you love them, remember to apologize when it’s needed - these are examples of deposits.
2. Trust is the atom of relationships. Preserve it at all costs. Don't keep secrets and don't tell white lies. Only those who tell them claim they’re permissible. Eventually all lies surface. Being dishonest in your most intimate relationship is a recipe for failure.
3. In a relationship - Whatever it is you want, give more of it without conditions.
If you want more respect? Give more respect. If you want more attention? Give
more attention. It will always come back to you.
4. Listen. This is the main factor in relationships. Good relationships are based on the ability to communicate, and good communication starts with good listening. Hearing is not enough - you need to actively listen. If your partner has a dream they want to fulfill, don't undermine it – support them.
5. Love is the strongest force in the world. Speak to each other, touch one another and hug every night. Intimacy is a beautiful thing. Never go to bed angry.
6. Define your Winning Picture together. Share your dreams in all areas of your lives. Become a winning team in fulfilling those plans. Help each other pursue your personal dreams as well as your shared ones.
7. Let them know that you will always be there for them. There is nothing better
than a supportive partner.
8. Remember how you were at the beginning, when you were totally in love, felt
butterflies in your stomach and couldn’t wait to see each other. You were respectful and passionate. If you never lose that attitude, your relationship will never end! Some relationships have a beginning, middle and end. If you behave in the middle as you did in the beginning - there will be no end to it.
9. Invest in yourselves, develop your skills. Go to workshops together, take up new hobbies, grow! - Make sure you live a good life - when we feel fulfilled, we’re more fun to be around.
10. You write the script. Decide that you must succeed together! If you want a great relationship? You need to invest in it, prioritize it and make it fun. Like everything else in life, a great partnership has nothing to do with luck, it's about making the decision to work on it and be willing to pay the price. It's worth it! Be completely authentic in your relationship.
I believe in you,
Happy Valentine's day!
Alon Ulman is the best-selling author of Success is not a Fluke, which is published in the UK on March 9 th . The book was a smash-hit in Israel, staying in the bestseller list for 83 consecutive weeks. Ulman is a sought-after speaker, life, business and practical success strategist. A Commander (Res.) in the Israeli Navy, marathon runner and Iron Man. Founder of The Winner’s Code Group.
https://www.winnerscode.co.il/אודות/about-us/ Alon is happily married to Ortal for +30 years and is a father of three.