It’s said that in Hollywood a vow renewal can often be a sure sign of a failing marriage. For example, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony did it twice during their marriage…and we all know where that ended! Thankfully most of us don’t live in Hollywood, but in the real world where the rules of Hollywood, good and bad, do not apply.

For us mortals, marriage renewal/anniversary Mass was created by the Catholic Church for couples married in the church who are invited to renew their vows. Introduced to America in the 1970s it’s now a hot trend with some US wedding planners reporting that over 30% of their bookings are for vow renewals rather than weddings.

Petite Weddings (www.petiteweddings.com) has seen a 10-fold rise in the number of couples wanting to renew their vows this year. Here’s the top 5 reasons given by couples for renewing vows:

• Celebrating a special anniversary by reaffirming love and commitment to one another

• A ritual to bring to a close a very difficult time and marking the start of a new chapter (maybe this is why Petite Weddings has seen demand rise 10-fold post-lockdown?)

• The couple wanting to experience the wedding day they wished they’d enjoyed when they got married

• Wanting to make new vows to one another as people and relationships change over time and some couples want to keep their heartfelt vows relevant and meaningful

• For some it’s the ultimate surprise for a partner – to have arranged everything for a vow renewal and then inviting them to it

Some new parents combine a vow renewal with a naming ceremony, welcoming a new member of the family, but also making vows that seem relevant in the light of becoming parents as well as being loving partners.

As Jane from Petite Weddings said:

“Whatever your reason for renewing your vows, there are so many beautiful and unique options available to couples and, unlike a wedding, so few rules or traditions you have to 'abide by'. Whether you want to recreate your wedding day, or create something totally different like a ceremony in enchanting woods, on a quiet beach or in front of a stunning sunset we’d love to help you.”

So why are vow renewals growing in popularity? Are they just a good excuse for a party? Or is there more to it than that?

In research undertaken in the US by Dawn Braithwaite, entitled, “I Do Again: The Relational Dialects of Renewing Vows” the data collected certainly backs the view that vow renewals are a good indicator of marital happiness and longevity of a relationship, rather than a sticking plaster on an expired one. To quote:

“Based on our data, the vow renewal event appears…more to maintain than to repair marital bonds. For most… the renewal event was not envisioned as a way to restore the marriage as much as a way to celebrate a marriage that was still viable.

…married couples appear not to renew their vows out of an intention to sustain their marriage…rather, married couples appear to partake in a renewal of their marital vows as an emotionally based expression of their love and commitment. The act of celebration, in turn, may … maintain the relationship’s viability.”

Or as Marcus Mumford put it, perhaps more succinctly, “Where you invest your love, you invest your life.”

Couples interested in renewing their vows can find out more details at www.petiteweddings.co.uk/vow-renewal