Building your self-confidence

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” - Blake Lively

Self-confidence is the level of certainty you have about your own qualities and abilities.

Factors such as the circumstances we face, our relationships with those around us and most

importantly, our relationship with ourselves can influence this perception that we have of

who we are.

In order to develop certainty about anything, we need to be knowledgeable about it and trust

that we can rely on this said knowledge. How can we learn more about ourselves?

1. Being alone does not make us lonely

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The first speaks to

physical disconnection to others and the latter is about being socially disconnected to

others. During this pandemic, we have had to physically distance ourselves from people,

meaning that most us found ourselves alone in our homes. But as I have certainly

been able to do myself, I have still managed to keep in constant contact with the

people I value in my life.

Having alone time allows us to have a better understanding of ourselves, enabling us to find true happiness with who we are authentically. It brings us a step closer to the best version of ourselves that we ought to be.

2. Intrinsic motivation trumps extrinsic motivation.

The difference between these two sources of motivation is the answer to the question, “why am I trying to achieve this particular thing?” If it is extrinsic motivation, your response will sound something like, “my friend really likes,” or I have seen others…”. Whilst you would respond with something along the lines of “I see myself,”

or “I believe this is where I can best…” if you are intrinsically motivated. Aim to be your personal “hype squad”. You are the one person that you can count on to be with you every second of this life, through all the glorious moments and the gloomy ones too.

Work on finding your sense of purpose because that will become your inspiration to keep going and working on fulfilling that life purpose even when it seems most difficult to do so.

3. Have you taken Myers and Briggs’ 16 Personalities Test?

If you have not, I highly recommend you do so. The results are eerily accurate and will allow you to read up about your strengths, weaknesses as well as behaviors and traits that your personality type portrays in relationships and in the workplace. It is a really good way to learn more about yourself and will be so beneficial to you when you need to answer the horrendous interview question, “tell us about yourself.”

Why do we need to learn more about ourselves?

You simply cannot love yourself if you do not know yourself. When we obtain self-knowledge

– understanding what our best and worst qualities and abilities are, we can then work on

affirming our value as individuals.