Have you ever faced the conumdrum of what to put first, your social life or work? Ladies do not fear, this month at Hinton Magazine we sat down with author of 'Party Girls On Purpose' - Lauren Ellingham who lets you know how you can have the best of both worlds. Lauren talks about how you can keep your professional life on track whilst making sure you get a good dosage of socializing in too, in her new book and this month we caught up with the author to talk about her new book!
Lauren, For those who haven't read your book 'Party Girls On Purpose', could you explain a little what it is about?
The book is for women who love to socialise and have a good time while also wanting to create big success in their lives. When I got to age 30 people said I had to get serious to get anywhere and you can’t have both, that you have fun when you are young and then you have to get serious. I didn’t want that, I wanted to keep my fun side while also going for my big goals in business and life.
This book is a personal development book that contains my Great night, G.R.E.A.T Formula. 5 actions and tools I was subconsciously using to create my great nights out where I felt amazing. When I started to apply them to my day to day life they created amazing success for me too.
What was the motivation behind you writing this book? I have always loved reading and started with fiction books as a child, once I started reading Enid Blyton I was hooked.
As I got older I was inspired by autobiographies and accidentally discovered a personal development book in my housemates room that changed my life.
After that I found other empowering books to read and one day had an inspired thought that I would like to write my own.
Lots of the books I was reading were so good but were either too spiritual or too scientific. I wanted something for women like me to relate to while learning some powerful tools to improve their outcomes and results.
Once I started it grew from there.
Where do you start when writing?
When I started I was writing notes on my phone or laptop, I actually had the title before the content. I know some say you should do it the other way around but it helped keep me focused on who the book was for and what message I wanted to share.
Through some mentors I also found a book writing course called Author Express created by a lady called Fiona Allen. Using that helped me structure my notes and turn them into chapters, which gave me the confidence to write and publish my own book.
I have so many notes and draft copies all over my computer now it's crazy to see how it developed and grew into an actual book I could hold in my hand.
It was an amazing feeling to get that first copy.
What kind of writing techniques do you find yourself using when you get into writing a new book?
I’m a brain dumper, which means I will have an idea in my head of what I want to share and write it down until it runs out.
From the course I did it gave me the ideas for the main chapter structure plus I worked with a great editor who helped turn my work into something everyone can read.
Was becoming an author something you always planned on doing?
Having always been a reader of books and loved writing stories in English at school it had crossed my mind. Then life got in the way so never imagined I would one day publish my own book.
I read a lot of personal development books and attended seminars when I was living in Sydney and found them to be so inspiring and empowering.
They change my mindset and the way I look at my life. They gave me confidence to go for what I want and find more inspiring mentors and teachers to listen to and books to read. One of them said we all have a message inside us to share and that stuck with me, I started to think what is my message and it grew from there.
You talk about in your book about the 'A-ha' moments which ultimately lead you to write this book. What would you say was one of the most pivotal ' A-ha' moments?
I mention it in my book a lot about the book by Rhonda Byrnes called The Magic.
It is a book all about the power of gratitude, I had a massive shift when reading this book that changed the way I looked at life forever. I had realised how ungrateful I had been for all I had and all I had done. The GR.E.A.T formula and the first main chapter in my book is all about it as it was my foundation for change. It changed my life so much it became my drive to share that knowledge with people to create a similar shift in them.
The Gratitude practises and techniques in the book I use and go back to if I start to feel low or negative. Discovering the power of gratitude was a massive ah ha moment for me and I cover it in detail in my book.
How Important do you think it is to deploy your social skills to your working life?
If you are a fun loving party queen on the weekend don’t let it end there. There are skills and traits that will brighten up your work life if you utilise them there too.
These social skills will also empower you to seek out more, if you aren’t enjoying work life then it's time for change. Start that business, aim for that promotion or look for that training course. You need to level up and feel successful in what you are doing everyday.
In work you are exchanging your time for money and when you are working for someone else you will only receive what they think you are worth. So choose where you spend your time wisely.
What would you say is one of the biggest bits of advice you can give to someone when it comes to the social element in the workplace?
Life rewards action so in the workplace use your social skills to network, build relationships, create ideas and find solutions. A lot of people in the workplace love to get stuck in a problem. Then take it to the person above them to make it their problem. I learnt to always be looking for solutions. When hit with a problem or challenge at work I used my social skills I used on a night out when things aren’t going to plan and it works wonders.
When you come across a challenge ask yourself this - What is my desired outcome ( if I overcome this challenge what would that look like?) Then when you have worked that out ask yourself What is my first step to get to that outcome, ( can you call someone, google the problem or get something to fix it) Finally take that first step, take action as once you do you are creating momentum to get to the solution. While others are stuck in a problem you are working toward the solution, it’s a great trait to have and won't go unnoticed.
Who would you say can benefit from reading this book?
The book was predominatelywritten for women, though now I know a few guys who have read it and loved it too. The message in the book is for anyone who loves to have a good time and celebrate life, but feel they are coming up short in their results so far. They are looking to improve their career, relationships, finances etc. You can apply the G.R.E.A.T formula to any area of your life and it will work for you as it has for me and other readers of the book.
What advice would you give to any budding writers out there?
Start writing, if you have a message, idea or story to tell, start getting it out.
The structure and flow can come later but get your message out on paper or computer. Mine started in my phones notes so anywhere you can get it out do it and add to when you are inspired to write. Once you get a certain amount out it will start to take shape and then you can start working on structure.
Are there any more books you're working on you can tell us about?
I have a few ideas for a new book but I haven’t put any words on paper yet.
Getting Party Girls on Purpose out was a 5 year passion project, I want to enjoy having it out in the world. Getting the lovely feedback so far has been amazing.
Lauren Thank you for your time.
You can get your hands on 'Party Girls On Purpose' now by heading to Amazon