- Curtis Hinton
There are very few people in this world that you meet and whilst there talking all you keep thinking is 'Wow, Wow, Wow!' This was my exact thoughts when I had the honour of meeting Dr Rana Al-Falaki.
Dr Rana is a life & Business coach, public speaker, Periodontist and of course Author. A very successful and busy woman! Thankfully she had some time to sit down with me and discuss all things about 'Women who want more' her latest book. During our interview Dr. Rana speaks about how COVID-19 might have affected women, and how this book can also be something for men to read and follow too.
Let's start talking about your latest book, Women Who Want More. For those who haven't read it, what is this book about?
Quite literally, the title says it all! If you are someone who wants more in your life
whatever that happens to be – more purpose, more health, more money, more from your relationships of any kind, be that intimate, professional, friendships, parents, children, more from your lifestyle, your career, and of course let’s not forget more fun and more time! There is a chapter covering each of those in the book, but it goes deeper than that.
This isn’t just a book about how to do. While it’s an incredibly practical and relatable book, it’s very much a book about how to be. Being is the secret to creating fulfilment and balance in your life, and this book hones right in on that.
Its packed full of practical advice and tips that are realistic for anybody, no matter
how busy they are, to be able to start to shift. I use real-life stories and ask thought provoking questions, so any reader is guaranteed to emerge with a desire and a way forward for change.
You may laugh, you may cry, you may feel challenged in places, but it will take you
on a journey through consciousness, and I have written the book with an underlying theme of core-energy, so by the time you reach the end, you are feeling light, joyful and powerful.
Reviewers have described it as a more practical version of The Secret and as if I am your best friend, right there in the room with you, having a helpful and non-
judgemental conversion with you. I also provide a ton of downloadable resources
with the book including meditations for abundance and intuition training, and work-sheets covering every topic, so you really can work on yourself, and even buddy up with your friends to work together.
How relatable do you think this book would be to the majority of women out there?
I’m a very busy woman, so I wrote it with that in mind. We exist in a society where
we want results fast, at our fingertips and for them to be easy. We are all so busy,
which means sitting in a wood mediating for two hours a day, as wonderful an
experience as that may be, is simply not practical for most people.
The practicality and the stories I use as examples, covering aspects of our everyday life, make it incredibly relatable for anyone who has reached adulthood. It’s a book that you may come back to time and time again when you reach different periods of your life and dependent on your needs, such a desire to change your job, make more money, pursue improved health or relationships, spiritual growth, to name just a few.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t use myself as a subject in the book, so expect the
viewpoint of a professional woman, but also I throw in some curve-balls to surprise you.
I should add, several men have also read the book and loved it, so maybe I need to
look at changing the title!
Why did you decide to pick this particular topic to write on? Was there any specific inspiration behind the book?
I love helping people! I have been a periodontist for over 20 years which has enabled me to help so many people with chronic disease. When you talk to these people, there is almost always a common theme of wanting to change but feeling
stuck, habits they can’t break or enormous stress that never gets dealt with and eventually catches up with them.
That is what inspired me to train as a core-energy coach, so I could help people beyond the field of health. I myself have suffered a great deal in life, which is something you don’t often hear about in books. The stories of the authors are
typically about poor kid made good, or from an expert who has studied but not
Well in my case I was from a middle-class background, born and bred in London,
and yet despite that, I experienced repeated abuse of various types, an eating
disorder, loss of children, emotional trauma and chronic illness. No one would ever have known to look at me because I was always smiling, always a high achiever, and always incredibly successful in my career. Putting the two together – my story to inspire others to overcome their challenges, combined with my experience as a clinician and a coach, have made for a powerful and uplifting read I believe.
I wanted more in my life, certainly more fulfilment and balance. I wanted the
answers , and having found them for myself, what better way than to help others do the same.
Linking this book with some feelings women may have because of this recent pandemic, do you think it's now harder to turn that feeling off 'should' to want. And generally for women to be able to follow your advice in the book?
The pandemic has affected us all in so many different ways. Feeling overwhelmed,
having to juggle homelife, career and home-schooling, adapting to a virtual life,
feeling fearful if not for your own health, then perhaps your partner, friends, parents.
We’ve been thrown into an uncertain existence – do you still have a job, how much
money will you have at the end of the month? can you go on holiday? can you make any kind of plans? It’s been a time where there has been loss of routine, structure, boundaries; probably some over-indulgence in the food and drink department, and a period where many are simply trying to exist. Has that affected the feeling of ‘should to want?’ Yes, but I think in the opposite way that you may think. I believe the current crisis has made us face up to what we were tolerating before and determine that life is too short to tolerate. I think we have a clearer idea of what we actually want having been forced to face what we don’t for the past few months.
That may a relationship, where having been stuck under the same roof with
someone you have realised isn’t for you and you were settling. It may be you have
come to value your freedom more, your time with your children more, the job you
previously took for granted more, or perhaps enjoyed the time away that you don’t
even want to go back to the job you were doing.
Now is the time for change, and I have noticed a real shift in the last month for sure, where my clients have shifted from one of procrastination to wanting to do something about their lives and sort themselves out once and for all. Its so uplifting and empowering to see, and for to be able to play a role in helping facilitate that.
The advice I offer in the book, as I have already said, is so practical and offers so
many options that ultimately there is something to suit everyone, men or women! As with my coaching process with my one to one and group clients, I never tell you what to do, because what works for one person doesn’t for the other.
Think of times when you have a friend telling you what to do and you feel agitated
and uncomfortable because they won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. The advice in the
book allows the reader to determine what is best for them based on who they are,
what their values and beliefs are, what their core-energy is, and what their
circumstances are and from that, they can shift in the direction they wish to go in.
How do you go about starting to write a book, it obviously helped with your 20+ years of knowledge on the subject ,but where did it first start for you?
The niggle to write a book lingered for over a year, but I was simply too busy and still unsure about what exactly it was I was going to write about. I read books about writing, I watched several webinars which offered further help, but eventually I hired a coach.
They helped me get clear on what my overall message was, who I wanted to speak
to, and worked backwards from there, putting in the structure and filling it out with content. By the time I’d done that, it took no time at all to write my first draft – 5 days in fact! Granted, they were days of uninterrupted peace and lasted a good 15 hours each, but 50 000 words were on paper! Obviously, the editing and publishing process then added on a lot more work and time. I am delighted to say that I have in fact inspired some clients to write and helped them through the process in much the same way.
If there are any budding writers out there, is there any bits of advice you can give them on writing a book?
Absolutely! First I’d say just write and don’t read it back until you are done. When
we write we engage with our subconscious, so you just have to force yourself to start and then keep going. If you keep stopping to re-read bits and correct as you go along you miss the opportunity to get into that state of flow from which you will
produce your best work.
Consistency is also essential, so even if you don’t yet have structure and a specific
idea for the book, just write anything, but do it routinely, be that daily or weekly.
Timetable it in, or it is far less likely to happen. One more tidbit – write about what you know, what you enjoy, what you are passionate about. It has to be fun, and you have to think about writing for yourself. If you think about writing for someone else and worry what they may think, or it’s a subject you don’t actually enjoy, you will in fact find it very difficult and disheartening.
As a human race we each have our roles, do you think the role of a woman in changing?
I do. I think we have even greater expectations of us – to be both homemakers,
mothers, carers, partners, and hold down jobs and climb the career ladder. It’s a
quandary because we want to be able to do it all, but a bit of help wouldn’t go amiss either. Are we perceived as weak if we ask for help? How much do we actually need to be like men to be successful? What’s wrong with showing some vulnerability and wanting to be looked after, and yet still have a successful career?
I truly advocate women playing to their own strengths and powers. We can be
leaders and wear a skirt! That happens to be one of the chapter titles in the book by the way, but why on earth not? Instead of trying to compete, if we play to our
strength as women – an ability to see the bigger picture, to be more intuitive, to
multi-task, to be empathetic and compassionate – these are strengths we can bring in to every ect and role in our lives. I would hope that we will see an end to
stereotyping, and each of us has a part to play to help bring that about. Like with all of this, it starts with becoming more conscious, a mission I have adopted to help people achieve.
What's the most common comment some gives you once they've read your book?
Wow! That they really loved it; that its so practical; that it’s a book they will go back to time and time again; that is so credible given my own personal story; that’s its relatable; that it’s not like other self-help books they’ve read. So many wonderful things and I feel overcome with emotion each time a reader shares a review with me.
(You can check out Goodreads to see more detail)
What would you say is the most important piece of advice you've included in your book?
I have two personal favourites. One is the ‘Peeling The Onion’ exercise to create
your E-motion – your energetic motion to change, so you can shift from ‘should’
to actually ‘wanting and doing’.
The second is a process called The Four Gets – a four step process you can
apply to any aspect of your life to get what you want. I introduce it in the book
and have a devoted online course on it which takes you through the process and tackles aspects of your health, relationships, money, and career/lifestyle.
(For more information click here)
Dr Rana is also giving a special gift of 30% off for HINTON Magazine readers using code GET30 valid until 15th October 2020).
You've got the nickname 'Super-woman' do you feel you have a sense of power, do you feel like you genuinely have the power to help women?
Firstly I should say that we all have a super power, we just have to be able to tap into it, and that usually starts with loving who we are and believing in ourselves.
My super-woman nickname came about from being able to achieve so much and yet coming across so calm, able and confident, and still be able to take on more. I share a warning about the consequences of that in the book.
Do I have a sense of power? Yes I do, and it comes from knowing exactly who I am
and not being afraid to show it to the world. My strongest power is probably my
intuition which I use extensively when coaching clients. Helping my clients feel the same is what I love doing and am very good at. We all have a right to stand in our power, and the book is a great start to get you to do that.
After reading this book, are there any more steps women can take, that you can help with?
To truly follow your advice in this book. Yes of course. We’ve already touched on the mediation and the worksheets
available on my website.
Sharing with other women, book reading groups, setting yourself challenges
amongst you can really help with accountability and keep you shifting. I am
constantly offering further advice and help on my blogs
There are my online courses – The Four Gets which we’ve talked about, and The
Breathe Method, which is a longer course helping you to get more by doing less – to create some me-time, or erase your to-do list for example, without needing to wake up at 4am to compete it all!
Of course I do also work with individual clients for various lengths of time depending on their circumstances, and am always very open and welcome to anyone reaching out to me firstname.lastname@example.org
Do you plan on writing any more books in the near future? Are there any exclusives you can give to us?
Ha ha! I can indeed! I’ve written several articles on the subject and have coined a
term of being a Wantaholic. No doubt about it, I was one of them, and yet when we
get what we think we want, we don’t feel happy for very long, so have to find the next thing. My intention is to offer you the cure in this next book!
Thank you for your time