Q&A: Jess Andrews on Dating Apps, Polyamory, and Puppetry

Polyamory, dating apps, and sock puppets collide in Jess Andrews’ bold and funny new solo show. I Met All My Friends On Dating Apps dives into Jess’s real-life adventures navigating open relationships and online dating. Using storytelling, spoken word, and puppetry, she brings honesty and humour to the often-misunderstood world of polyamory.

We asked Jess about the inspiration behind the show, the myths she’s hoping to bust, and why some bad dates are best told through a puppet.

What made you want to write a show about dating and polyamory?

I have wanted to write a one-person show since I was a kid, though I could not have predicted that this would be the subject matter! When I started online dating it was a whole new world for me. As I reported to my friends about all these new experiences I was having, they seemed to find it entertaining and always had a lot of questions. At the same time, I was seeking out (but wasn’t finding a lot of) media that was reflective of my own experience. I figured that maybe telling my story might take away a bit of the mystery for monogamous folks and add another voice for more nuanced poly representation.

What do you think people often get wrong about polyamory?

That it’s always dramatic and purely about sex. My experience has been that online dating (creating profiles, getting matches, meeting people, attempting to form connections, etc) is far more complicated than being in a consensually non-monogamous relationship.

Why did you decide to use puppets in the show?

I love puppets but try to only use them when they add to the story or scene. A goateed sock puppet turning up late to a date and being oblivious how bad it is going just amplified the absurdity of the situation that I was trying to convey. 

What’s your favourite part of performing this show?

There is a part in the show where I ask the audience to boo. People really get into it, and it fills me with glee every time they do. Outside of performance times, hearing that people relate to the stories I’ve told, and they are glad to have seen the show means the world to me.

Do you think dating apps have changed how people connect—for better or worse?

We now have the opportunity to meet folks that we wouldn’t otherwise, which I do think is positive. The pool has widened, but perhaps gotten shallower. It’s not just about being yourself, crafting a good profile is hard. There is gamification in the way we seek out matches and it’s easy to fall into patterns of formulaic conversations. Sending the first message is equivalent to a cold-call. Try as they might, there is something more ethereal to connection than an algorithm can manage. So, I don’t think it’s changed the way we connect, but where we do and with whom.

If you could give one piece of advice to someone new to polyamory, what would it be?

If you really want connection look for community, not just dates.

I Met All My Friends On Dating Apps runs from 12 June to 18 July, stopping in Brighton, Cambridge, and Bristol. Whether you’re seasoned in swiping or just curious about polyamory, Jess Andrews offers a rare mix of laughs, honesty, and theatrical charm that’s sure to stay with you long after the lights go down.

For tickets and info, follow @on_dating_apps or visit www.theatrejess.com.