Clemmie Pellew Harvey on Why Our Feelings Sit at the Table Long Before Our Fork Does

Food may be physical, but the way we eat is almost always emotional. In the second week of our four part series with nutritional therapist and author Clemmie Pellew Harvey, we explore the inner world that shapes our choices long before we open the fridge. From guilt to craving, comfort to control, this conversation uncovers the psychology many of us never realise is driving our relationship with food.

Clemmie has a gift for peeling back the layers without judgement. She speaks about eating in a way that feels human rather than clinical, helping people understand why intention matters as much as information. This instalment moves beyond ingredients and nutrients and into the realm of belief, emotion and the stories we tell ourselves when nobody is watching.

When Clemmie talks about the psychology of eating, she speaks with a softness that makes even the heaviest truths feel manageable. She listens more than she instructs, and her approach reveals something simple yet profound. Before people can change what is on their plate, they often need to understand what is in their mind.

In this conversation she opens up about guilt, mindset, childhood influence, the impact of social media, and how motherhood and pregnancy have shifted her own internal dialogue. What follows is an honest look at why so many of us struggle with food and the gentle perspective that can help us find peace with it.

When people come to you struggling with food where do you begin untangling what is physical and what is emotional?

I start by listening. Really listening. Most people know what they "should" be eating, but they're stuck in patterns that have nothing to do with nutrition. I ask about their day, their stress, their sleep, their childhood. Food struggles are rarely just about food. Once we understand the emotional landscape, the physical side becomes much easier to address.

Why do you think guilt plays such a powerful role in the way we eat and how can we begin to silence it?

Guilt thrives in the space between expectation and reality. We're told we should eat perfectly, look a certain way, and have total control – and when we don't, we feel like we've failed.

To silence guilt, we have to challenge those expectations. Food is not a moral issue. Eating cake doesn't make you bad, and eating salad doesn't make you good. The more we normalize all foods, the quieter guilt becomes.

This is absolutely essential as a parent teaching our children about food, because our voices become their inner thoughts and beliefs forever.

How much of eating well do you believe comes down to mindset rather than knowledge?

I'd say 80% mindset, 20% knowledge. Most people know what healthy eating looks like, but they're battling beliefs about worthiness, control, and perfectionism. Shifting mindset – learning to trust yourself, let go of all-or-nothing thinking, and prioritise consistency over perfection – that's where the real transformation happens.

What has surprised you most about the emotional connection people have with food once they start to talk honestly about it?

How deep it goes. Food is tied to love, safety, rebellion, trauma, control, and identity in ways people don't realise until they start unpacking it. I've had clients cry talking about their grandmother's cooking, or realise they've been restricting food as a way to feel in control of their life. It's powerful, vulnerable work.

Do you think social media has helped or harmed our relationship with eating?

Both. Social media has democratised nutrition information and created communities of support, which is incredible. But it's also fuelled comparison, misinformation, and diet culture in a way that's hard to escape. The key is curating your feed intentionally – follow people who make you feel empowered, not inadequate.

I tune out the noise and tune into my body. I don't follow trends or get swept up in the latest superfood craze. I eat minimally processed foods, train consistently, and listen to what my body needs.

Right now, being pregnant, that means honoring cravings, resting when I'm exhausted, and not comparing my journey to anyone else's. Every pregnancy is different, and I've had to let go of any expectation of what mine "should" look like.

I also remind myself that balance isn't about perfection – it's about flexibility, self-compassion, and showing up for myself even when it's not Instagram-worthy. And as a mum, I know Pia is watching. The way I talk about food, the way I treat my body, the way I navigate cravings and hunger – those become her blueprint. So I model what I want her to learn: that food is fuel, pleasure, and connection, not something to fear or control.

If someone could change just one daily habit to build a better relationship with food what would you tell them to start with?

Eat without distraction at least once a day. Put your phone down, sit at a table, and actually taste your food. It sounds simple, but it reconnects you with hunger, fullness, and pleasure – the foundations of a healthy relationship with eating.

In your view what does a peaceful relationship with food actually look like?

It looks like eating when you're hungry, stopping when you're full, and not overthinking it. It's enjoying cake at a birthday party without guilt and eating vegetables because they make you feel good and taste great, not because you have to. It's trusting yourself, being flexible, and knowing that one meal doesn't define your health or your worth.

Clemmie reminds us that eating well is rarely about knowing more. It is about feeling safer, calmer and more connected to ourselves. Her insights highlight a truth we often overlook. Food becomes complicated when life becomes complicated, and compassion is more transformative than control.

As we close the second chapter of this four week series, the emotional landscape around food feels clearer. Next week we turn our attention to children, uncovering what little appetites are really trying to tell us and how parents can respond with confidence rather than stress.