Q&A with Bonni Chan about Must I Cry

Weaving together themes of memory, the fading legacy of British rule, and the story of a rhino named Sudan, Must I Cry is a theatre show that originates from a Hong Kong-based company with roots in Scotland. We spoke to director, performer and deviser Bonni Chan about its upcoming London run.

Tell us what Must I Cry is about

Must I Cry draws inspiration from the literary works of renowned Hong Kong author Xi Xi, particularly her piece "Hong Kong Mon Amour" from 1968, which explores themes of memory, loss, and the changing landscape of the city.

It is deeply connected to Hong Kong, a rapidly changing city. The production explores themes of memory and loss from diverse perspectives, referencing significant historical places and events. It examines the universal experience of memory and the inevitable loss associated with it. Additionally, it delves into the contrast between the loss of memory and the loss of humanity caused by neglect, portraying a city where the constant tearing down and rebuilding has left its citizens devoid of soul. The play is a fantastical journey of a character finding her way to keep the memory of her father alive! 

You’ve spoken about being inspired by Xi Xi’s essay My Love for Hong Kong Island. What was it about her writing that struck a chord with you?

In the short poetic essay, a daughter faces her father's passing as she reflects on many memories of him and the moments they shared, laid out over the ever-changing city of Hong Kong. The theme of loss—losing loved ones and possibly losing the memories associated with the city where one has lived—is profound. How can we embrace this kind of loss? To "embrace" means to accept it and move forward. This idea serves as the foundation for the creative work of this play. I remember hearing some Egyptians say that a person is not truly dead until everyone forgets them. I want to explore how we can preserve memories that we consider precious or valuable from the past. 

The show blends poetic text, live music, and visual projection. Why was it important for you to use such a mix of forms?

Memory is a non-tangible thing, but a realm fluid in space and time. The form follows this aspiration. Language, movement, music, and images overlay to evoke the sensations and contemplation of a woman’s inner journey. 

Theatre du Pif started life in Scotland but has been based in Hong Kong for decades. How do those dual roots shape your creative process today?

It is enormously enriching. Through the differences in culture and aesthetics, we observe and search for life’s universal phenomena from a broader experience and consideration. The bilingualism of the company also makes us more sensitive and playful with these two musically different languages. Of course, their interplay reflects the actual history and reality of this unique city—Hong Kong. 

Must I Cry premiered at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last year, and was your first UK production in twenty years. How did it feel to return to performing in the UK?

 I was full of excitement and curiosity—excited to perform for a new audience and curious about how the story would relate and resonate. It was the first public showing of this original piece, and we would meet the classic Edinburgh Fringe Festival’s 15-minute setup time challenge. We had only the first 10 minutes of the show checked during the technical rehearsal, and then we went. My lighting designer, at his light panel, said to me before the show, “Just do what you do, tzeel juah!” Performing abroad together, meeting fresh audiences with my team, is my joyous reward.

Finally, what do you want audiences to take away with them?

 Love is not memory , is in the now.

Must I Cry by Theatre du Pif will be at Pleasance Theatre, London from 31st July – 2 August https://www.pleasance.co.uk/event/must-i-cry